Being Gay in Men's Football: A Toxic Environment
“There's still so much to accomplish” - Cavallo on anti-gay prejudice in soccer
“You don't belong on this earth” ... “Why are you here?” ... “Stop breathing.”
After announcing he was gay in 2021, footballer the athlete has faced constant threats and hateful comments on social media.
“When I first saw these messages, I was devastated,” the player explains. “No-one wants to read things like that.
“I'm trying to get better as a player and reach my full potential on the pitch, and then get put down because of who I am. It's disgusting.”
Midfielder the sportsman was at Adelaide United back in 2020 when he emerged as the sole publicly out elite soccer player in the world.
This summer he departed from Australia to sign with lower-tier club Peterborough Sports, who play in front of crowds of about 400 in National League North, one level below of English football.
The 25-year-old balances his sports career for the Cambridgeshire part-timers by speaking up on inclusion matters and leveraging his platform - boasting over a million followers on social media - to champion equality and inclusion.
“Definitely, there's enormous work ahead,” Cavallo says when questioned about ongoing issues with homophobia.
“Rarely a week passes without encountering problems.”
‘Individuals wish to hurt me’
The player was raised in Melbourne
It took years for Cavallo to work up the courage to say “I am homosexual” before revealing his sexuality on October 27th, 2021.
“My only desire is compete in soccer and receive fair treatment,” he said in an accompanying video.
Cavallo was 21 and making a name for himself at his Australian club in Australia's top flight when, backed by his colleagues, he publicly came out.
“I didn't know what was ahead. I didn't know what to expect,” he says. “It felt like the right time in my life. I wanted to take the next step.”
His emotional coming out video, entitled ‘Josh's Truth’, gained massive attention on social media.
“My mobile phone exploded with encouraging words. It was overwhelming.”
Liverpool were one of many high-profile clubs around the world to show solidarity with the player, with the coach at the time Jurgen Klopp saying: “I appreciate that he did it because now we talk again.”
Barcelona defender Gerard Pique also offered support, writing on social media that “soccer culture is lagging behind and your actions drive progress”, while Adelaide United issued a statement supporting their “remarkable” and “courageous” player.
Some people, however, were less welcoming.
Cavallo soon turned into a target of anti-gay remarks by rival supporters.
In January 2022 Melbourne Victory were fined A$5,000 over anti-gay abuse from fans directed at the player during a match.
“The things I'd hear were hurtful and derogatory towards LGBTQ people,” he explains.
“I didn't react because responding would encourage detractors.”
There was a frightening incident at a petrol station in Australia, where Cavallo was assaulted by someone who recognised him from the coverage.
“That was a scary moment,” he recalls. “The thought crossed my mind ‘this is happening - individuals intend to hurt me’.
“Should this be tolerated? Absolutely not. But through my disclosure, these are the consequences.
“My wish is that the next person who reveals their orientation while playing football at a high level doesn't have to experience the path I have experienced.”
Cavallo says the daily death threats and abusive messages have affected his mental health.
“It's quite sad because I must justify why I deserve a place on the soccer pitch for my identity,” he states.
“We don't sit straight people down and ask ‘why should you exist in football?’.
“A lot of people see me as a cheerful, positive person. But sometimes when I rely on my partner, his name, and he gets to see much of what occurs privately.”
‘Premier League player coming out would move mountains’
Cavallo's decision to reveal his sexuality helped inspire teenage attacking player Jake Daniels to come out as the UK's only openly gay playing soccer professional in spring 2022.
However, there are zero publicly LGBTQ athletes in the Premier League.
“It would create massive change,” comments the footballer on the effect a elite athlete coming out would make.
“But I'm not going to sugar-coat it. Numerous frightening aspects that would await this individual. Within soccer culture, being an openly gay player is a very toxic place.”
Twenty-seven years after a pioneering player - Britain's first openly gay male footballer - took his own life in 1998, Cavallo has discussed the “toxic masculinity” that still exists in professional soccer.
“You just need to go to a match and observe the unfriendly atmosphere and male-dominated culture that the audience creates,” he explains.
“Much remains to be done to ensure there is a safe space in football for individuals like me and Jake.
“We haven't seen it (more players coming out) as frequently as desired.
“I can only keep pushing for principles I believe in, and strive for taking out the toxic masculinity in football changing rooms and establishing secure environments.”
‘My mission is to drive progress’
Cavallo received an honorary doctorate from an academic institution in his former city in 2022, honoring his efforts as a role model in sport and a champion for equality
The player says football has allowed him to have conversations inside dressing rooms about revealing one's orientation.
Yet, he is critical of Fifa, after Qatar, where same-sex relationships are against the law, hosted the men's World Cup in 2022.
Future World Cup will be held in Saudi Arabia, where same-sex attraction is similarly prohibited.
“Am I impressed that the global championship is in nations that ban gay unions, where people like me will be put in prison for merely living on that land? It's scary,” states Cavallo.
“I get messages [from people living in these countries] saying ‘I face imprisonment for being who I am - is assistance possible?’.
“It's devastating that people are getting locked up for their true selves.
“There are countries that are huge in terms of football and they don't accept LGBTQ+ people. These places that tend to target me.”
Nevertheless, the footballer says he won't cease advocating.
“Soccer has enabled dialogue in the locker room. It lets me communicate and inform individuals who want to learn more.
“Not everyone is going to like you for your identity. But I have found my family. I have found my community.
“My mission is to create change. That's what I'm here for.”
